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Sunday, March 5, 2023

How to Talk to Your Cat About Gun Safety by Zachary Auburn

 


What is the last funny book that you read or what is your favorite funny book?  I love funny books and they are really needed during stressful times or after reading a heavy book.

I received a hilarious book as a Christmas gift titled The American Association of Patriots: How to Talk to Your Cat about Gun Safety and Abstinence, Drugs, Satanism, and Other Dangers that Threaten Their Nine Lives.  With a title like that, how can you go wrong?  I loved this synopsis of the book from Goodreads:

“The cats of America are under siege!

Long gone are the good old days when a cat’s biggest worries were mean dogs or a bath. Modern cats must confront satanists, online predators, the possibility of needing to survive in a post-apocalyptic wasteland, and countless other threats to their nine lives.

For over four decades, the American Association of Patriots have stood at the vanguard of our country's defense by helping to prepare our nation's cat owners for the difficult conversations they dread having with their pets. Written in a simple Q&A format, How to Talk to Your Cat About Gun Safety answers crucial questions such as, “What is the right age to talk to my cat about the proper use of firearms?” and “What are the benefits of my cat living a lifestyle of abstinence?” and especially “Why does my cat need to use the internet? Can’t he just play with yarn like cats used to do?”

Our country—and our cats—stand at a precipice. It will take courage, and it will take hard work, but armed with the knowledge within these pages, we can make our cats—and America—great again!”

The book is set up like a series of pamphlets that a zealot would give out warning you of the terrors you cat could face from a wide variety of sources.  I love the near constant puns and the pictures of cats holding guns.  I found it better to read a section at a time and not the entire book at once.  My fourteen-year-old son also found this book to be hysterical.

Favorite Quotes:

“…if there is one hard-and-fast rule on this topic, it's this: under no circumstances should you provide your cat with a gun equipped with a laser scope, as your cat is likely to be more interested in the dot it makes than in the deer, burglar, or communist in their sights.”

“It is frequently said that curiosity killed the cat, but what is often left unsaid is that the actual cause of death was the improper discharge of a firearm by a poorly trained feline.”

Book Source:  Christmas present from my friend Jen.

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