Wednesday, December 12, 2012
Mommy Grace by Dr. Sheila Schuller Coleman
I especially enjoyed the chapter called “Can a Working Mom be a Good Mom?” This matter gets a variety of opinions based on who you talk too and can be a very sensitive matter. I have worked part-time since I had my first child, and just went recently back to full time this past May. Therefore, this chapter was especially pertinent to me now. I loved the following section from this chapter,
“Did my children miss out because of my choice to work? Would they have turned out better if I had not pursued my career? Was I, in reality, a bad mom because they had to be in day care? Well, I couldn’t be prouder of my sons than I am. They are accomplished and happy and we are very close as a family. As a school administrator I have seen many mothers who are called to school from work to come and pick up their sick children. The exasperated, worried, torn looks on their faces are very familiar to me. But I have also seen many, many children at our school who were raised by working mothers who grew up to be remarkable young adults.
My boys didn’t miss out on anything. These other children didn’t miss out on anything. If anybody missed out, it was all of the mothers who chose to or had to work. How many more memories could I have had if I had spent more time with them? Every mother’s choice or circumstance is different. It is impossible to define a plan that is best for all of God’s children. No two of us are alike. In the final analysis it is between every mother and father and their children and God. Beyond that – it is nobody’s business.”
I thought this perfectly summed up quite eloquently what I am always trying to explain to people. It’s distressing to me that in this day and age people still say you are “paying people to raise your children” and that you “must not love your children if you don’t stay home with them,” etc. What is the most disturbing is that it is usually fellow women that say this to other women. We should all respect each other’s choices and realize that what is good for you and your family is not the best for all.
The only thing I didn’t like about this book was its subtitle, “Erasing Your Mommy Guilt.” It implies that you must have guilt as a mother for how you are raising your child or that you are a working mom or some other myriad problem. I think Mommy Grace is good enough a title without bringing perceived guilt into the matter.
Book Source: I won this in a giveaway a few years ago.