Emotional Endurance: Faith-Fueled Skills for Bouncing Back by Leslie M. Bosserman

 

Do you read self-help books?  If so, do you have a favorite?  If not, what topic would tempt you to read a self-help book?

Emotional Endurance is a self-help book that blends psychological research with biblical wisdom to help to build resilience. 

My thoughts on this book:

·       Why do we need emotional endurance?  I liked this quote, “Our strength is how much we’re able to handle before thing get hard, and our endurance is how far we can go after it’s hard.” 

·       I also liked this definition of emotional endurance, “Emotional endurance is the dynamic interior capacity to keep going and rise above our circumstance as we deal with life’s stresses and challenges.”

·       I think emotional endurance is something we all need and can all work on.

·       This was a very interesting book with great tips.

·       This was a beautiful edition.  It was hardcover with a beautiful cover with glossy pages.

·       It goes through six principals of emotional endurance including:

o   Fortitude to Fail

o   Resilience to Rise

o   Hope to Heal

o   Courage to Change

o   Energy to Engage

o   Purpose to Persevere

·       I found the tips to be thoughtful and useful and I feel I will be rereading this book in the future to remind myself of the principals.

·       I liked how the author included personal stories throughout the book to explain the why of the principal and the skill.  Each principal is subdivided into skills which are short chapters. 

·       There are thoughtful questions to get you thinking about the skill and how to apply it.

·       There is a reflect & connection at the end of each chapter/skill.  I found them to be useful for how to move forward with each new skill.

·       Chapters are short and easy to read.

Overall, Emotional Endurance:  Faith-Fueled Skills for Bouncing Back by Leslie M. Bosserman is a very useful self-help book that one can use to think about and improve your overall emotional endurance to make it through life’s struggles.

Book Source:  Review copy from @tnzgift @leadwithintention @tlcbooktours as part of the TLC Book Tour.  Thank-you!

Notes on Heartbreak by Annie Lord

 

What is the genre of the book you are currently reading?

Thank you, Partner @bibliolifestyle @harperperennial for the review copy of Notes on Heartbreak by Annie Lord.

In Notes on Heartbreak, Annie Lord details her break-up after a long-term relationship ends.

My thoughts on this book:

·       This was a memoir, but also read at times like a self-help book as well.

·       Lord discusses the relationship from how it started to how it slowly ended and dealing with the aftermath.

·       Lord was very honest on her feelings and made me remember how hard it is being in this type of situation.

·       It is good to know this happens to everyone and you are not alone in your heartbreak.

·       This book detailed the best and worst parts of being in love.

·       I liked that it read like it was her diary.  The reader got to know her inner thoughts, friends, and family. 

·       The author lives in England, which gave me Bridget Jones vibes at times.

·       I thought this memoir was interesting, but I think I would have enjoyed it more when I was younger and experiencing this type of break-up myself.

Overall, Notes on Heartbreak by Annie Lord is an interesting memoir that details the best and worst of being in love and the end of a relationship.

 

100 Rules for Living to 100: An Optimist's Guide to a Happy Life by Dick Van Dyke

 

Title:  100 Rules for Living to 100: An Optimist's Guide to a Happy Life

Author:  Dick Van Dyke

Narrated by:  Tom Bergeron, Dick Van Dyke

Publisher: Grand Central Publishing

Length: Approximately 7 hours and 27 minutes

Source:  Review copy from NetGalley.  Thank-you!

What is your favorite Dick Van Dyke movie or show?  That is a hard one for me as I love so much of his work.  I would say Mary Poppins, The Dick Van Dyke Show, and Diagnosis Murder are my top favorites.

Have you met anyone who lived to a 100?  My oldest relative was my Great Grandma Kile who lived to be 97.  There have been some people who lived to 100 in my local community.

Dick Van Dyke just recently turned 100.  In this book, he gives tips for staying healthy and making the most out of life.  He tells great stories from his long life.

My thoughts on this audiobook:

·       Dick Van Dyke reads the intro to his audiobook himself and narrator Tom Bergeron takes over for the rest of the book.  Tom Bergeron sounds so much like Dick Van Dyke that I kept thinking it was him as I listened.

·       I enjoyed the background of how Van Dyke created the old man Mr. Dawes character in Mary Poppins.

·       I loved his short stories and vignettes about his life and career.  I found myself laughing and smiling throughout this book.

·       It was sad that all his lifelong friends are now all gone.

·       He talked lovingly about working with Carl Reiner and how he was a great boss who stood up for everyone.  He said in today’s world, we need more Carl Reiners.

·       I have loved Dick Van Dyke my entire life and have enjoyed his shows and movies.  He also always reminded me of my late Grandpa Stone.  They looked alike with the same tall slim build and had a similar sense of humor.  My Grandpa was a year younger than Dick Van Dyke, but sadly passed away 23 years ago from a brain tumor.

·       Cary Grant would call Van Dyke when he was on an LSD trip and would just talk.  It was odd and funny and then just randomly stopped.

·       He talked about his bad British accent in Mary Poppins and joked that when he was asked to be James Bond, he responded, have you heard my British accent?  They hung up the phone on him!

·       He discussed his past problem with alcoholism and going to AA meetings.  He made a movie called The Morning After about alcoholism.  I need to find it.  When he admitted his real problem to the world, he received a lot of support.  Admitting he had a problem saved his life. I had no idea until this book that he had been an alcoholic.

·       The book is up to date as he discusses evacuating his home due to the fires last year and also about making the Coldplay video.

·       I was sad for him when he discussed how he loved to read but can no longer physically read.

·       He had a funny story about giving up his license.

·       I need to read his full autobiography!  Has anyone read it?

100 Rules for Living to 100: An Optimist's Guide to a Happy Life by Dick Van Dyke is an entertaining memoir and self-help book.  It was lighthearted and a fun read. I highly recommend it, especially for fans of Dick Van Dyke.

The World According to Mister Rogers: Important Things to Remember by Fred Rogers

 

Who do you look to for words of wisdom for living your life?  While I tend to usually look first to the Gospels in the Bible, Fred Rogers or Mister Rogers was a Christian and good man who had many words of wisdom for being a good person and living a good life. 

Fred Rogers was an ordained Presbyterian minister and was the host of the PBS TV show, Mister Rogers Neighborhood.  I sadly did not have PBS where I lived and did not become familiar with Mister Rogers until I was an adult.  Mister Rogers believed in “Love thy neighbor as thyself” and had a lot of thoughts on how we all could do this.

The introduction of this book was a sweet story by Joanne Rogers about her husband, how they met, their romance, and what kind of person he was, which overall, she said was a kind person.  I think we could all use this type of kindness in the world right now.  The book is a short book filled with quotes, observations, short stories, and anecdotes.  There is also a short biography of Fred Rogers at the end.

A few of my favorites:

“When I was a boy, I used to think that strong meant having big muscles, great physical power; but the longer I live, the more I realize that real strength has much more to do with what is not seen.  Real strength has to do with helping others.”

“There is no normal life that is free of pain.  It’s the very wrestling with our problems that can be the impetus for our growth.”

“Often our periods of losing come the greatest strivings toward a new winning streak.”

“All of us, at some time or other, need help. Whether we’re giving or receiving help, each one of us has something valuable to bring to this world.  That’s one of things that connects us as neighbors – in our own way, each one of us is a giver and a receiver.”

“We want to raise our children so that they can take a sense of pleasure in both their own heritage and the diversity of others."

“It’s very dramatic when two people come together to work something out.  It’s easy to take a gun and annihilate your opposition, but what is really exciting to me is to see people with different views come together and finally respect each other.”

“When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, ‘ Look for the helpers.  You will always find people who are helping.’ To this day, especially in times of ‘disaster,’ I remember my mother’s words, and I am always comforted by realizing that there are still so many helpers – so many caring people in this world.”

Overall, The World According to Mister Rogers:  Important Things to Remember by Fred Rogers is a book that I am going to keep in my nightstand for something to pull out and read when I need cheering up.

Book Source:  Gift from my mother-in-law. Thank-you.

The Boundary Boss Workbook by Terri Cole (Bibliolifestyle Book Tour)

 

Thank you, Partner @bibliolifestyle @soundstrue for the review copy of The Boundary Boss Workbook by Terri Cole.

Have you ever had problems saying no when you are asked to do things?  I know I have this problem.  I love to help and like to give my time helping others or trying to put in 110% at work.  At times though, I have found I have to say no. Unfortunately, when those times come, people seem to act with disbelief that I will not donate my time to them anymore instead of grateful for what I have given of myself through the years.  When I had the opportunity to review The Boundary Boss Workbook with its tag line of “the right words and strategies to free yourself from burnout, exhaustion, and over-giving” I knew it was the book for me.

I read the “dear reader” section and “how to use this workbook” and I thought the author was speaking directly to me. There are great worksheets and scripts to help you work through your interactions and learn how to set your boundaries.  I have started to listen to the Boundary Boss by Terri Cole on audiobook and I am going to use this workbook to work through my communications to start setting healthy boundaries.  I love it!

This workbook includes:

• The importance of boundaries and how they affect every part of your life

• Self-assessment quizzes to identify your preferences, desires, limits, and deal-breakers

• Your self-care tool kit―meditations, reflections, and empowering practices

• Getting proactive―how to anticipate and prepare for boundary-setting situations

• Boundary scripts―creating the right words in your own voice for asserting boundaries

• Internal boundary practices to shift your self-talk, habits, and unconscious behavior

• Establishing and upholding new rules for healthy, authentic, and lasting relationships

Giveaway:  Enter on my Instagram Post.

This book was published on October 31, 2023.

 

Kicking Ass in a Corset: Jane Austen’s 6 Principles for Living and Leading from the Inside Out by Andrea Kayne (Book Tour)

 

Kicking Ass in a Corset is an innovative book that takes a look at Jane Austen’s six major heroines and how their characteristics can be used to help women lead in today’s age.  Author Andrea Kayne is a major Austen fan and she has found a way to relate these characters to their internally referenced leadership style.  Their styles are boiled down to Elizabeth Bennet (Pride & Prejudice) is confidence, Fanny Price (Mansfield Park) is principled morals, Catherine Morland (Northanger Abbey) is play hard, Emma Woodhouse (Emma) is humility, Elinor Dashwood (Sense & Sensibility) is acceptance, and Anne Elliot (Persuasion) is work hard.

Author Andrea Kayne outlines what it takes to be a leader and how today’s women can empower themselves like an Austen heroine.  Each chapter discusses an Austen heroine, her story, and how her internally applied leadership style can be applied to today’s world.  Each chapter ends with exercises for applying the particular principle to your life.  This was the most entertaining business leadership / self help book that I have ever read.  The chapters that spoke the most to me were the Elizabeth Bennett and Anne Elliot chapters.

In the Elizabeth Bennet chapter, it discusses how women of the regency era and today “were socialized to forgo our own values and truths for those of others.  We were told to be quiet, to be small, and to be like everyone else except ourselves.”  In the workplace women then “spend too much time acting modest, apologizing, avoiding verbal opposition, and being indirect.”  I have definitely found this to be true for myself with work.  I’m constantly working on being more direct.   Kayne points out that Elizabeth Bennet is true to herself for the entire book and doesn’t fit anyone’s expectations for what she should be.  The book suggests exercises for looking inward to see what your true principles are and working on having the confidence to stick with your principles.

Anne Elliot is not like the rest of her family.  She is the quiet overlooked sister, but also the hardest working and most capable person in her family.  “The most effective leaders are ‘sea-faring folks with weathered skin,’ who work hard for their success rather than having it handed to them.”  I love how this quote references Anne’s father’s, Sir Walter Elliot, vanity and disdain for sea faring folks.  I also love this quote, “An internally referenced leader feels empowered and inspired when working with her own body, mind, and soul to achieve what she wants, which mostly is to make her world a better place.”  I feel this quote.

I also did not know until reading this book that Jane Austen started writing Persuasion on the day that Napoleon went into exile, August 8, 1815.  This book was filled with interesting tidbits.

Favorite Quote:

“Indeed, these heroines balance me in so many ways.  I reread the Austen novels every year to remind myself that, no matter what is going on in the external world or how I am being squeezed professionally or personally, I can always choose to be well in a state o f internal equanimity.  Austen acknowledged that life can be challenging and rough, writing, ‘We none of us expect to be in smooth water all our days.’ But she also suggests to me that if we anchor in our internally referenced self, we have the makings of a kickass boat.”

Overall, Kicking Ass in a Corset is a great book for both Austen lovers and those looking for ways to empower themselves in both life and the business world.  This was the most entertaining business leadership book I’ve read.

Book Source:  Review Copy from University of Iowa Press as part of the TLC Book Tour.  

About Kicking Ass in a Corset 

• Publisher: University of Iowa Press (September 15, 2021) 

• Paperback: 208pages 

 What can organizational leaders in business, education, government, and most any enterprise learn from an unemployed, unmarried woman who lived in patriarchal, misogynistic rural England more than 200 years ago? As it turns out, a great deal. In identifying the core virtues of Austen’s heroines—confidence, pragmatism, diligence, integrity, playfulness, and humility—Andrea Kayne uncovers the six principles of internally referenced leadership that, taken together, instruct women how to tap into a deep well-spring of personal agency and an internal locus of control no matter what is going on around them. Utilizing practical exercises, real-life case studies, and literary and leadership scholarship, Kicking Ass in a Corset maps out effective leadership that teaches readers how to tune out the external noise and listen to themselves so that they can truly live and lead from the inside out. 

 

Purchase Links

IndieBound | Amazon | Barnes & Noble

About Andrea Kayne

Andrea has spent her personal and professional life engaging with one basic question: How can we, as women, realize our own internal power both personally and professionally, no matter the constraints in the external world? As Director of the Leadership Program at DePaul University College of Education, where she has spent the last twenty years. Andrea has taught, written, spoken, and consulted, all around the country and world, in the areas of empowered leadership, feminist leadership, emotionally intelligent leadership, constructive culture and conflict resolution, data-informed professional learning communities, and the area she has developed called Internally Referenced Leadership™. Andrea earned a bachelor's degree from Vassar College, a master's degree in Education from Harvard University, and a Juris Doctor from the University of Pennsylvania Law School. She lives in Oak Park, Illinois with her husband and their beautiful blended family and, of course, her Pride and Prejudoodle, Addy. Find out more about Andrea on her website, Instagram, and Twitter.

The Rejection that Changed my Life by Jessica Bacal

 

Subtitle:  25+ Powerful Women on Being Let Down, Turning It Around, and Burning It Up at Work

The Rejection That Changed my Life is a very inspirational book that I greatly enjoyed.  Rejections are a part of even the most successful person’s life, but they are usually not talked about.  Everyone has either not gotten the job they wanted, not been promoted, or have been laid off at work.  It can be very painful.  It can make you question yourself and feel lesser than you really are.  People like to talk about their accomplishments, but most don’t talk about the rejections they faced along the way.  I am personally guilty of this.  This book interviews twenty-five different women from different paths in life talk about the rejections they faced and how they dealt with them.  The book had a lot of great tips and positive messages on how to move forward.  It was a great look at how rejection can really hurt you, but it’s how you take that rejection and push forward that counts.  I thought this book was great and very positive.  It’s an important life lesson for everyone.

I think my Favorite Quotes for this book give you a good idea of what the book is like:

“Women are not supposed to be self-promoting or too assertive or angry.”

“If you get defensive when people tell you things you could do better, you’re human.  It’s important to give ourselves a break.”

“I don’t think a month goes by without some sort of rejection.  Do you view it as a rejection or as a learning experience?”

“Authenticity is all about staying true to your values, not to one particular communication style.”

“Science communication is not about hierarchy; people are collaborative and direct.”

“People resist when you’re trying to do something that makes them uncomfortable.  Then slowly, with good data, people start to adapt.  It’s important to be aware that as a change agent, you are the catalyst for a process that can take time.  It’s vital to keep from becoming so frustrated that you lose the opportunity to make a difference.  It’s vital to have patience and the facts.”

“Tip:  It helps to listen and find ways to reposition your argument, showing that it also meets the other person’s objectives.  That way, they don’t have to be on the defensive.”

“Some of the women in the upcoming section talk about realizing that they weren’t well matched to their jobs – and rejection was just what they needed in order to pivot.”

“In general, I think it’s so easy to dwell on our mistakes and harder to savor our wins.  That’s something I’m trying to get better at.”

Overall, The Rejection that Changed my Life is a very inspirational book with life lessons for us all on how to take rejection and use it to move forward in life.

Source:  Review Copy from Netgalley and Penguin Books

Happiness Becomes You: A Guide to Changing Your Life for Good by Tina Turner

 

Title:  Happiness Becomes You:  A Guide to Changing Your Life

Author: Tina Turner

Read by:  Adrienne Warren with chanting by Tina Turner

Publisher: Simon & Shuster Audio

Length: Approximately 4 hours and 39 minutes

Source: Review Copy from Simon & Shuster Audio.  Thank-you! 

I have enjoyed Tina Turner’s music my entire life and was very happy to review her new book.

 Tina Turner was born Anna Mae Bullock in Tennessee.  She had a hard upbringing with first her mother and then her father abandoning her to be brought up by grandparents and other family members.  She met Ike Turner while still a teenager and became a star, but behind the scenes she was living on the edge with constant abuse from Ike.  She had been raised an indifferent Baptist, and it wasn’t until the 1970’s that she discovered Buddhism.  She started to chant and pray every day and learn more about the religion.  It brought her inner peace although she has still had trials and tribulations due to her health and the suicide of her son.

 Happiness Becomes You is Tina’s story as she explains her Buddhist beliefs and how they helped her to change “poison to medicine.”  She explains how the reader can use these ideas for finding happiness in their own lives. 

 I found this audiobook to be very inspirational.  Turner has experienced a lot in her life, but she was able to find her inner peace and move forward.  I love that she shared this experience with the world through her book.  Adrienne Warren narrated the audiobook and did a fine job.  I will admit though, that I especially loved getting to hear Turner’s voice as she chanted at the end of the audiobook.  It was beautiful.  I didn’t know that much about Buddhism and thought it was very interesting to learn more about it.

 I love that each chapter started with a list of inspiration quotes from a wide array of people including such figures as Maya Angelou and Pope Francis.  I also enjoyed the afterword which had statements from a variety of people talking about how much Tina Turner meant to them. 

 Overall, Happiness Becomes You is a timely book that gives insight into Tina Turner’s life, but also insight on how we call all work on achieving happiness in our own lives.

Groomed: Overcoming the Messages that Shaped Our Past and Limit Our Future by Elizabeth Melendez Fisher Good with Beth Jusino (TLC Book Tours)

Elizabeth Melendez Fisher Good is the cofounder of Selah Freedom, one of the nation’s leading anti-sex trafficking organizations.  Good teaches that sharing our secrets and personal stories with others can help people to heal from personal trauma.  She also feels that messages that children receive when thy are young groom them to live lives that are not their own. In Groomed, Good shares her personal story to explore the areas where women are often groomed:  for appearances, to be invisible, for judgement, to endure, or for financial fear.  She explores not only how that can lead women to be sex trafficked, but how it can affect those that are not sex trafficked into leading lives that are not fully their own. 

The book starts with “How Did I End Up Here” with the story of a child having a secret, one that is so deep that they can’t share it with others although it will change the direction of their life forever.  This hooked me into the book and I was intrigued by the rest of the book as well.  It gave me a lot to think about and I recognized myself in several parts of the book.  The first three chapters of the book focus on how we’ve all been groomed.  The next five chapters focus on the specifics of how we’ve been groom and the last three are how to make changes and the leave the life that is causing you harm.

In the groomed for appearance section, I recognized my Grandma.  She and other members of the family were constantly remarking on the appearances of all of the girls in my family, even ranking us on our appearance and weight.  I was the valedictorian of my class, but always felt unworthy as I am not a skinny beauty queen.  It was just this Thanksgiving while going through her old pictures, I found an envelope with clippings about me and the awards I had won in high school.  She had never told me she was proud of me, but was always criticizing my appearance.  It made me sad. I realize now that was how she was raised and how her entire focus in life was to make sure she was groomed for her appearance and looking good. It was her way to help me out and love me I think to criticize, although I wish it could have been different. I really thought the quotes below from the groomed for appearance section were very thoughtful, especially this week where the news is full of the appearance of Jennifer Lopez at 50 and how the Super Bowl performance represents “Empowered Women.”  I found this focus very sad and falling into the same trap for women.  I don’t remember talk last year about Adam Levine doing well and looking well on the stage at his age and how it represented “Empowered Men.”

“Study after study shows that children intuitively believe what adults tell them, even if those messages contradict what they see right in front of them.  Not only that, but children internalize those messages and carry them into adulthood.  When boys are routinely complimented as smart and girls are told their pretty, it affects what they seek in the future.”

“Girls who were groomed for appearances often become women who don’t know how to look beneath their own surfaces.”

“Focusing too much on appearances takes all our energy and focuses it on what other people see, leaving nothing left for who we really are.”

The groomed to be invisible section sadly made me think of my other Grandma.  She was groomed to be invisible, always in the background serving and never the focus of anyone.  Poor Grandma.  “But far too many women hover in the background because they believe this unhealthy message:  You’re here to serve, not to be recognized.  You don’t deserve anything more.”

While I recognized myself in many sections of the book, I realized I was groomed to endure.  I am the always busy person that is always helping people and never having time just for myself.  This was what my family needed from me when my parents divorced, I needed to keep everything together in both households.  This has continued on to adulthood where I am now the always busy person trying to figure out how I got here.  This book gave me a lot to think about and I particularly liked these quotes:

“Your friends and family know that you’re the dependable one, the reliable one, the one who will be there for anything, no questions asked.   Most of the time they take you for granted – not because they are trying to hurt you but because they can’t respect your boundaries if you’ve never established any.”

“You were groomed to believe you exist to care for others, but that’s left you without space for your own needs to be met.”

This book not only gave me an insight on how people become victims of sex-trafficking, but it also gave me insight into myself and how I was “groomed” by others into who I am these days for both the positive and the negative.  I think it’s a good book for all women to read.

A lot of what I liked about this book was Elizabeth Melendez Fisher Good's personal story and the story of the development of the Selah Freedom Foundation. Her candor was refreshing.

One more Favorite Quote: 

“If you find yourself stuck in an endless loop of resentment or angry feelings toward a person who hurt you years ago, you’re probably spending too much time on something that can’t be changed.”                                                 

Overall, Groomed is an important book that gives insight of how people become victims of sex-trafficking, but also into how we are all “groomed” in our lives.  It was a very thought-provoking book and one that I think all women should read.

Book Source:  Review Copy from Thomas Nelson as a part of the TLC Book Tour!  For more stops on this tour, check out this link.